THE LAST SCREAM: Every Mother's Experience
All that I am, or hope to be, I owe it to my angel mother.
~ Abraham Lincoln
On Mothers' Day, take a scroll on your WhatsApp contacts and you would find every display picture celebrating a woman. Get inquisitive to read the statuses and it will range from 'You are the best Mum in the world' to 'Mum like no other'. There is no social media platform that a mother won't be celebrated on. Some guys go to the extent of celebrating their girlfriends and wives for the 'motherly roles' they play. I'm not talking about those 'roles' today especially the ones played by girlfriends 😉.
But take the guy with the longest essay on Facebook and ask him of his thoughts about the feminine society, two days before Mothers' Day, and it would either be 'all women are the same' or 'trust no woman'. And yet, he magically gives the finest accolades to his mum forgetting she is also a WOMAN! Suddenly she is the best of this 'trust no woman' society and whose love is incomparable👌🏾. (Same goes for those ladies whose perception about the male fraternity only changes on Fathers' Day). And again, this is not the focus for today. Besides, no matter how 'best' your Mum is, it is still a relative analysis😜
There is something phenomenal about being a female which I call Motherhood. Unfortunately, not all females reach this stage of life. While most females reach it by virtue of childbirth, a few others reach it by deeds. Although there are some who never become mothers (due to natural misfortunes called barrenness), there are a few others who should not be called mothers because of their sheer display of irresponsibility. Of all the definitions of a MOTHER, my favourite is something which is the greatest or most significant of its kind (Oxford English Dictionary). That is the kind of mother I seek to describe today.
I happen to work in the Maternity Unit of a District Hospital. This Unit serves as the home for all those women who have endured nine months (less or more) of 'discomfort' coming from the smaller towns and villages nearby. In the Maternity Unit is the famous room -The Labour Room. To every pregnant woman, it is the room of the most intense pains and yet loveliest cries. Before being ushered into the Labour Room, the pregnant woman gets the Lying-In experience. It is in this ward (room) that she sees her 'colleagues' hit their thighs as if they were steel. It is the preparation room for the biggest event - labour!
After the pregnant woman has endured the vaginal examinations from the hands of different midwives noting her cervical dilatation, contractions and other midwifery jargons on a partograph, she is eventually confirmed full and said to be in labour.
This is the moment every primip dreads and yet it is the initiation into motherhood. Irrespective of the severity of the pain, the goal is to hear the cry of a new birth. She would have to endure the pain, the possible tear and the 'beatings' from the Midwife to reap the fruit(s) of her labour. Then comes the final scream! That push that brings the baby out. In a flash, the labour pain is forgotten, the nine-month 'burden' is off and the tag of childlessness is removed. The pregnant woman is now a MOTHER!
But then, I have seen deliveries that did not end this lovely. I have seen a woman who cried from her labour pains, endured an episiotomy, gave her last scream and yet brought out a baby who would not give the 'ngaa' cry. She looked at her baby with relief as she also had finally become a mother. In an anticlimax fashion, her excitement was cut short when the Midwife said, "Maame, your baby is not crying". The midwives took the baby away to do their 'magic' yet this one would not cry. From a distance, I saw the Mother's face that seemed to be saying, "No! Not after all this pain! This baby must live". The Midwife told her, "Your baby has Asphyxia and must be sent to the nearest Teaching Hospital (a 2½ hour good long journey) for further management". She looked broken by the report but even when the Ambulance would not respond, she accepted the exorbitant taxi fare charged her without a bargain. What mattered most there and then was that her baby lives. She did not look rich but that was her life's pride at stake. She would pay anything to keep her baby. The goosebumps moment was when she refused suturing of the episiotomy because she did not want any delay. "What! She is risking her life to save her baby's?", I soliloquized. "She probably has no idea of the 'blood streaming' she would experience throughout her journey to the 'nearest' teaching hospital", I pitied her. But did she care? This was her nine-month labour slipping through her hands just like that. She would rather watch her baby being bagged to life than worry about a tear. That scream in the Labour Room should be her last. She could not afford another at the loss of her baby.
She looked weak but she was strong for her baby. She did not have everything but she knew how to keep her baby alive. She had a tear to endure but her baby's health was her priority. This is the extent of a mother's love. It may not always come with teddies yet it is so sincere. It may not always give you what you ask for but it always gives the best it can afford. This love always puts you before herself. This is who a MOTHER is! - and not merely one with a league of children.
So young man, before you laud your mother over all others, make sure you have apologised for all the wrongs you have done her. Young lady, before you tell the world she is your mentor, make sure to say sorry for the times you said she was a Nagger. Yes, she may be a Chatterbox but it's only because she wishes you well. Her last scream was in the Labour Room. If she has had another scream because of you, she needs a compensation. Wipe her tears before you put your panegyric on Facebook. Your WhatsApp statuses are meaningless if all you have caused her is pain and regret.
Before you cause your mother any pain, remember her last scream that brought you life!
Woman, you are not a mother merely because you have a child, two or more. Motherhood is a gift not for those who survived a 'swollen belly' for nine months, but for those who have a heart great enough to put others before herself. She must be able to give strength and meaning to womanhood.
I cannot agree less with Rudyard Kipling that "God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers". Motherhood: this is where love truly begins.
Happy Mother's Day to all the Amazing Women making the World a better place. Thank You for your LOVE💞
Oheneba Kwadwo Aduse Poku Nimako Jnr
kwadusepoku@yahoo.com
0545029466
~ Abraham Lincoln
On Mothers' Day, take a scroll on your WhatsApp contacts and you would find every display picture celebrating a woman. Get inquisitive to read the statuses and it will range from 'You are the best Mum in the world' to 'Mum like no other'. There is no social media platform that a mother won't be celebrated on. Some guys go to the extent of celebrating their girlfriends and wives for the 'motherly roles' they play. I'm not talking about those 'roles' today especially the ones played by girlfriends 😉.
But take the guy with the longest essay on Facebook and ask him of his thoughts about the feminine society, two days before Mothers' Day, and it would either be 'all women are the same' or 'trust no woman'. And yet, he magically gives the finest accolades to his mum forgetting she is also a WOMAN! Suddenly she is the best of this 'trust no woman' society and whose love is incomparable👌🏾. (Same goes for those ladies whose perception about the male fraternity only changes on Fathers' Day). And again, this is not the focus for today. Besides, no matter how 'best' your Mum is, it is still a relative analysis😜
There is something phenomenal about being a female which I call Motherhood. Unfortunately, not all females reach this stage of life. While most females reach it by virtue of childbirth, a few others reach it by deeds. Although there are some who never become mothers (due to natural misfortunes called barrenness), there are a few others who should not be called mothers because of their sheer display of irresponsibility. Of all the definitions of a MOTHER, my favourite is something which is the greatest or most significant of its kind (Oxford English Dictionary). That is the kind of mother I seek to describe today.
I happen to work in the Maternity Unit of a District Hospital. This Unit serves as the home for all those women who have endured nine months (less or more) of 'discomfort' coming from the smaller towns and villages nearby. In the Maternity Unit is the famous room -The Labour Room. To every pregnant woman, it is the room of the most intense pains and yet loveliest cries. Before being ushered into the Labour Room, the pregnant woman gets the Lying-In experience. It is in this ward (room) that she sees her 'colleagues' hit their thighs as if they were steel. It is the preparation room for the biggest event - labour!
After the pregnant woman has endured the vaginal examinations from the hands of different midwives noting her cervical dilatation, contractions and other midwifery jargons on a partograph, she is eventually confirmed full and said to be in labour.
This is the moment every primip dreads and yet it is the initiation into motherhood. Irrespective of the severity of the pain, the goal is to hear the cry of a new birth. She would have to endure the pain, the possible tear and the 'beatings' from the Midwife to reap the fruit(s) of her labour. Then comes the final scream! That push that brings the baby out. In a flash, the labour pain is forgotten, the nine-month 'burden' is off and the tag of childlessness is removed. The pregnant woman is now a MOTHER!
But then, I have seen deliveries that did not end this lovely. I have seen a woman who cried from her labour pains, endured an episiotomy, gave her last scream and yet brought out a baby who would not give the 'ngaa' cry. She looked at her baby with relief as she also had finally become a mother. In an anticlimax fashion, her excitement was cut short when the Midwife said, "Maame, your baby is not crying". The midwives took the baby away to do their 'magic' yet this one would not cry. From a distance, I saw the Mother's face that seemed to be saying, "No! Not after all this pain! This baby must live". The Midwife told her, "Your baby has Asphyxia and must be sent to the nearest Teaching Hospital (a 2½ hour good long journey) for further management". She looked broken by the report but even when the Ambulance would not respond, she accepted the exorbitant taxi fare charged her without a bargain. What mattered most there and then was that her baby lives. She did not look rich but that was her life's pride at stake. She would pay anything to keep her baby. The goosebumps moment was when she refused suturing of the episiotomy because she did not want any delay. "What! She is risking her life to save her baby's?", I soliloquized. "She probably has no idea of the 'blood streaming' she would experience throughout her journey to the 'nearest' teaching hospital", I pitied her. But did she care? This was her nine-month labour slipping through her hands just like that. She would rather watch her baby being bagged to life than worry about a tear. That scream in the Labour Room should be her last. She could not afford another at the loss of her baby.
She looked weak but she was strong for her baby. She did not have everything but she knew how to keep her baby alive. She had a tear to endure but her baby's health was her priority. This is the extent of a mother's love. It may not always come with teddies yet it is so sincere. It may not always give you what you ask for but it always gives the best it can afford. This love always puts you before herself. This is who a MOTHER is! - and not merely one with a league of children.
So young man, before you laud your mother over all others, make sure you have apologised for all the wrongs you have done her. Young lady, before you tell the world she is your mentor, make sure to say sorry for the times you said she was a Nagger. Yes, she may be a Chatterbox but it's only because she wishes you well. Her last scream was in the Labour Room. If she has had another scream because of you, she needs a compensation. Wipe her tears before you put your panegyric on Facebook. Your WhatsApp statuses are meaningless if all you have caused her is pain and regret.
Before you cause your mother any pain, remember her last scream that brought you life!
Woman, you are not a mother merely because you have a child, two or more. Motherhood is a gift not for those who survived a 'swollen belly' for nine months, but for those who have a heart great enough to put others before herself. She must be able to give strength and meaning to womanhood.
I cannot agree less with Rudyard Kipling that "God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers". Motherhood: this is where love truly begins.
Happy Mother's Day to all the Amazing Women making the World a better place. Thank You for your LOVE💞
Oheneba Kwadwo Aduse Poku Nimako Jnr
kwadusepoku@yahoo.com
0545029466
Nice one
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