The Day I Cheated On My Beloved

I am sure you are wondering why I would put a private issue on social media. Is it an apology this time or do I intend making fun of you? This could have been settled between just the two of us but I felt it was better to share it first before it went viral. 

I know how it has been like all this time. I remember when we first met -I may have missed the date but surely not the experience. I could not wait to tell the World about my newly found love. I had seen the things that got the attention of some of my friends. But here I was, leaving all other pleasures for you. When you said 'I LOVE YOU', I felt it sank deep down in my heart and I knew this feeling was new. I was glad I had finally found someone who would cherish me.

I thought to myself, "I am not letting this one go! No, not for any reason". But I was wrong! I had only trusted myself too much. It was not too long till I found my old self again. Knowing how well you loved, I took you for granted. Secretly, I was being influenced. I would not talk to you or reply your messages. Even when you cautioned, I would ignore and do what I felt was good for me. I gave my body the instant gratification that it wanted. I could not deprive it of this 'great' feeling. Yes, you said it will not last forever but did I care? Even if it was lasting a minute, I felt it was all I needed. In your presence, I would flirt with other 'people' and not care if you would be hurt...After all, you still love me - I would say.

But this time, I went too far. Not only was I secretly having an affair with another, you caught me 'in bed' with 'her'. Yes! Someone you least expected. I had once told you 'she' was part of my old life and even gave you my word never to go back. But as human as I am, I went back on those words. Right in my face you stared. I could not meet your eyes neither could I endure the guilt anymore. This time I was ashamed and did not know how to cover my nakedness. When we were alone and I tried to explain, you called my name and "Kwadwo I understand! I have forgiven you".
What!😨 You have forgiven me? Even this? In your eyes, I saw those assuring words, ''Yes I have'' yet I still was not convinced. How could you just forgive me without even hearing me out?

I suddenly remembered the day I professed my love for you. You said you loved me even before I did. But did I believe those words? How could I, when I was only healing from a serious heartbreak from my past relationships. But this time, those words echoed again in my ears. I knew you were different from the others but I probably did not expect this kind of purity. For a moment I felt I did not deserve you. But before I spoke those words out, you hugged me and said, "I know how you feel but I would never leave you nor forsake you". Those were the most assuring words I had heard in my life. I could not control myself any longer. How could I betray someone who loves me this much?

I wished I could just compensate you for all the wrongs that I had done but you said you had paid for it all for me on the cross. I thought hard, "Okay Bae, what if this is a plan to pay me back later on?😞''- I was scared. You only smiled and said "I know the thoughts that I think towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope". You further assured that you have given me all things pertaining to life and godliness.

I broke down in tears. How could I ever love like you do? But then I remembered your words in Romans 8:11 (But if the Spirit of him that raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you) and I felt energised. I knew I only needed your Spirit and not to dwell on my Carnal self. I suddenly began to feel like how I felt the day I said I loved you. I felt broken and heard my spirit say, I give myself away! I strive to have a conscience without offence towards God and men. Yes! I agree I have a bitter past. But how satisfying were the pleasures of the world compared to your promised Paradise? I had to make a choice - a choice to 'zip up' and stay clean. ''I eagerly wanted a better heading for my next post. I am not ready to betray your love once more for what shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his Soul?", I said out loud.

JESUS is BAE😘😍
#HeFirstLovedUs
#Loyalty

Oheneba Kwadwo Aduse Poku Nimako Jnr
kwadusepoku@yahoo.com
0545029466